I, myself, have been scammed out of my payment, and manipulated into having sex without a condom.” “Unfortunately, there are many daddies out there looking for girls who don’t know what they’re doing and just want to find someone they can pay less to than a traditional escort. “It’s something we talk about a lot on The Slut Project,” Rachael says. I want a comfortable lifestyle.”īut the industry carries risk. Now that I’ve experienced that, it’s made me never want to work for minimum wage. “That’s the great thing about this job – there is no limit on what you can earn, and you call the shots.
#SUGAR DADDIES THAT ONLY WANT TO TEXT PASSWORD#
“I had one guy that gave me his Uber password so I could travel wherever I needed to go and order all the delivered food I wanted,” says Temple. Some were older, but one of my first sugar daddies was 24 – the same age I was at the time.” Hanne Rachael (left) and Vixen Temple (Photos: Supplied)īoth women have embarked on arrangements that have suited their individual needs – whether that’s money (Temple says earnings can be anything from $1000 to $10,000 a week, with sugar babies often dating multiple daddies at once) to gifts to, well, whatever you want. “We’d go out for dinner, I was taken away on holidays, I experienced things I’d never have experienced in life otherwise and I genuinely enjoyed spending time with my dates.
“A lot of the guys were really respectful and handsome and gentlemanly,” she recalls. Rachael says she dated this way for a number of years and enjoyed the variety of men she encountered. “So I signed up to Seeking Arrangements – which is the site pretty much everyone uses to sugar date – and then got on a bus to Wellington and began life as a sugar baby.” If I didn’t get many hours one week that would feed my anxiety, which in turn would impact on whether I would show up to work, so it was a vicious cycle,” says Rachael. “Back then I was working bar jobs, but I wasn’t in a very good place mentally. Hanne Rachael, 28, began sugar dating in 2017 and now runs an online platform and Facebook group for sugar babies and other sex workers called The Slut Project 2.0. There’s a lot of emotional labour that goes into sugar dating!” “Most want sex – although some don’t – and while the money is fantastic, I do regularly feel like an on-demand girlfriend who always has to have my phone handy in case my daddy texts me wanting to catch up. “Often they’ll be much older, have wives, be ‘boomers’ in marriages where the love has fizzled out,” she explains. “I grew up watching The Girls of the Playboy Mansion – I loved the idea of dating a Hugh Hefner type,” she laughs.Īnd sure enough, she found plenty of them. The idea of sugar dating was always attractive to Temple, and once she started stripping she was frequently offered opportunities to meet up with her male clients after hours.
“I’ve had daddies who’ve told me that they’ll happily have sex with me, but they’d never consider going to a brothel and having sex with ‘one of those dirty whores’,” she says in disbelief. Vixen Temple, a 25-year-old Auckland stripper who has been operating as a sugar baby for two years, is familiar with that sentiment. And the ‘sugar daddies’ don’t want to accept they’re having relationships with sex workers.” Cherida Fraser (Photo: Supplied) “But it’s about how people identify – ‘sugar babies’, who are the people providing sexual services, often don’t identify as sex workers, likely due to the stigma around the term. “It’s a bit of a euphemism for commercial sex work, really,” says Fraser, a sex work researcher and advocate at NZPC.
“But the teacher had never heard of it.”Īnd that’s because sugar dating is probably still pretty new to many of the teachers, guidance counsellors and parents of New Zealand.įor the uninitiated, it’s a mutually beneficial relationship, where money or gifts are exchanged for sexual intimacy. “Every hand in the class shot up,” says Cherida Fraser, who was one of the two, alongside Dame Catherine Healy. When two staff members from NZPC: Aotearoa New Zealand Sex Workers’ Collective visited a girls’ college recently to present to a history class, they took the opportunity to ask if anyone in the room was familiar with or knew someone who was “sugar dating”. It’s sex work, but with the veneer of a real relationship – and that can leave ‘sugar babies’ vulnerable to manipulation.
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